Him: Will you turn on the internet please?
Me: No (he knew by the tone of my voice, and the look on my face that I was joking)
Him: Then I will burn down the house!
Me: Then I will kick you out!
Him: Then I will lick your key!

Neither of us could keep a straight face at that point.

We remind ourselves regularly of the stupidity of those escalating arguments, and the stupid things that are said within those arguments.

Nothing good comes of “Well then I’ll…” arguments.