I told The Boy that he would get a mobile phone as soon as he was going somewhere that he might need to be rescued from.  Of late he has been meeting his school friends and has had some scheduling SNAFUs.  I have also had a few moments where I needed to tell him something, like “Come home for dinner”.  We were both ready.

We talked last week about him getting his Christmas present early.  He decided he was not OK with not getting a big present on Christmas Day.

We talked again on Sunday and he decided he was OK with not getting a big gift on the day.

We sat down this evening and wrote out what each of our responsibilities were in relation to his phone.

Me:
Buy credit

Him:
Clean out the car once a week
Shower at least twice a week
Other light chores on an ad hoc basis
Hand up his phone at bedtime every night

We discussed that this is an IF -> THEN situation.  If he doesn’t meet his responsibilities, I won’t meet mine.

Then I called his new phone and asked him to find whatever was vibrating.  The look on his face was priceless.

He spent the evening setting it up and it took all of my restraint to not just take the phone from him and do it myself.  That is what I have done for my kids for years after all.  Do the things because I am The Parent and they are The Kids.  What happens when The Boy is old enough to do it himself?  The Parent becomes the assistant, sitting on her hands so as not to squash his independence, his self sufficiency, his ability to problem solve.  All the things I want him to grow and develop as travels on his journey to being The Grown Up.

Of late, the internet turning off has been his cue to go to bed.  What if when the WiFi cut off, there was data there to take over?  He would no longer get the cue.  Unprompted he set an alarm for bedtime because he was aware that he wouldn’t have that WiFi cue.

As he went to bed he said “Is this a dream?”  He had dreamed last week that he got a phone and was very sad when he woke up and realised it was a dream.  I assured him it wasn’t a dream and he told me that he likes his phone very much.

Today was a win for both of us, both separately and together.