Then And Now
So many things have changed in the way I parent The Boy and The Brother. I am aware that the change has happened internally (my mindset) and externally (the words I use and things I do). I have become so familiar with the words I use now that I don’t remember the old words until I hear someone else use them. Now when I hear them I find them so jarring, so confrontational, and I typically respond with my translation.
So here is my then and now.
| He is (insert negative word to describe his character) | He is having a hard time |
| He is nothing but trouble | He is having a hard time |
| He is going to have to… | It would be nice if was able to… |
| He is going to have to… | I would like him to… |
| He should do/say/be | It would be nice if was able to do/say/be |
| He should… | I would like him to… |
| If he doesn’t stop doing X, then I will do Y | Why can’t he stop doing X? |
| If he doesn’t do X, then I will do Y | Why can he not do X? |
| Just do what you were told to do | Is there a reason you can’t do what I asked? |
| Because I told you to… | We are going to have to have a conversation about… |
| “I know the feeling” | “I don’t know what it feels like inside your body right now but that sounds tough. Is there anything I can do to help?” |
By The Parent
- 24, Jan, 2019
- 0 Comments