I cannot begin to describe how our shared language has changed.

When I was a child my mother said that I “never used one word when ten would do”. I took after my father in that regard, and The Brother, in turn, takes after me. The Boy is our silent type.

Using more words, using big words, does not mean you are using English better, it just means you are using more of it.
Using more words does not always help you impart the message because often less is more.

So for years I used more words, “smart” words and I thought it would help me “look” intelligent, help me feel like I belonged with my peers, help me feel powerful over those who were weaker than me.

I used words against The Boy. It has taken me a long time, but I have forgiven myself for using those words. It was only with that forgiveness could I look properly at the words I wanted to use, the message I wanted to convey.

What has become more evident of late is that the words I use with The Boy are now the words I use with everyone. I cannot have a lexicon wrapped up in consent, consideration and collaboration with one person in my life, and something else for everyone else.

To do that would be to disrespect everyone.