Child to parent violence – Parenting Lark

Grown Folk

During the Summer I was asked to speak at this year’s NVR Ireland conference. As a result of the pandemic the conference was to be online and I had a 10 minute slot. I can talk for hours. I have great difficulty talking for 10 minutes.

I played with many ideas for what I would talk about. The remit was “The Parent’s Experience” but that didn’t really narrow things down for me.

When I finally started writing something, 48 hours before I was due to speak, I knew that I needed to condense my lived experience into 10 minutes.

I am now the Grown Folk. I am one of the ones that has survived. I am one of the ones who has taken this program and made it their own, made it a way of life. I am one of the ones who can now sit down and say “let me tell you what I did. Let me tell you a way that it can be fixed”.

So I spoke of my experience. I opted for dignified honesty. I made some people cry. I made more people hope.

I showed up. This is what Grown Folk do.

Author Unnamed

I have been where you are

In my own flavour of hell

I have cried myself to sleep hoping tomorrow would be different with the knowledge that it wouldn’t be

I have prayed for quiet moments
For the freedom to use the bathroom in peace

I have been where you are

I have watched my child attack his brother

I have watched him destroy property

I have permanent marks on my body from where he kicked me with his shoes on

I have been where you are

I have said yes when every cell in my body has screamed no but I couldn’t face the fallout from saying no

I have been where you are

I have called my child names that I wouldn’t be willing to include in this poem

I have been where you are

Those Were The Days My Friend

6 days shy of our 3rd anniversary I walked out of Marie’s office without another appointment. She didn’t discharge me and I didn’t quit.

My Cover Song

I wonder how a cover artist feels about performing their cover track in front of the original artist.

A few days ago I got to describe my interpretation of a process to the person who introduced that process in Ireland. I am full of “have I interpreted it correctly?” and “am I doing it justice?”

I like to believe that I drank the right flavour kool-aid, that he considers me a vicarious success.